The Unexpected

The plan was to go to Mcd's Saturday night so that the kids could play and get some ice cream. As kind of an "end of winter break" thing. But when Kaden started throwing up around 5 that evening, we knew that plan was out. Then Eddie started throwing up. They continued on through the night. We were supposed to have our monthly family dinner at our house that Sunday night but we had to call and cancel, and it is a good thing we did b/c....

Sunday I got up and got Kylie and Eli ready for church. David was staying home with our 2 sick boys and Johnny. I skipped Sacrament meeting b/c I didn't get a lot of sleep the night before with 2 sick boys, and I would have skipped all of church except that I have to teach Sunbeams. So I was getting Kylie ready, doing her hair and everything, when my side started hurting-BAD. My first thought was "great, just what I need, another kidney infection." I hoped that I was wrong and that this pain would just go away. Maybe I slept wrong? It didn't. I went to church and tried sitting with my new class. When I started having hot flashes, and feeling nauseous and like I was going to pass out, I decided I probably should go home, instead of traumatizing these poor 3 year olds. So I had someone take Kylie and I home. (Eli was NOT going to miss his first day in primary, so he stayed behind, and someone else brought him home after church).

As soon as I got inside I went to the couch to lay down. I could NOT get comfortable. It hurt SO bad. But B/c I have had kidney infections in the past, I had decided that I was not going to go to the hospital and waste a bunch of money for them to tell me what I already knew. I could wait this out. I was wrong. I really didn't remember it hurting this bad before. So around 1 pm I talked David into taking me to the ER. To make a long story short-after 1 1/2 hours in a waiting room, (another 45 min after that to get the pain meds started), a CT scan, an ultra sound, and a LOT of pain meds they figured out that I had something called Ovarian torsion. Apparently it is not a common thing to have happen. I am one of the lucky ones to get to experience such a thing. For those of you who don't know what it is-it is the twisting of the ovary due to the influence of another condition or disease. Nice huh.

Well, anyway, it hurts. BAD. They were going to send me home saying it was probably a kidney infection (funny), b/c they had ruled out kidney stones. But NONE of the meds they were giving me were helping, so they decided to look into it a little more. Thank goodness they did. Unfortunately that means that I had to have an emergency surgery. The Dr was going to try and save what he could, but once he got in there, he saw that my ovary had to go. But he thought he might be able to leave the fallopian tube, then he saw some blood clots and decided that had to go to. So I ended up having a partial hysterectomy.

Now I get to sit at home and feel sorry for myself. I hate it when I can't do things on my own. I got to come home on Monday, and all I could do was sleep. Then on Tuesday David went into work for a little bit, and I tried to do a load of dishes and sweep the floor. Not a good idea. I got the worst headache, and my stomach felt like it was on fire after that. And I still had to deal with my kids. (Who have not been taking this thing all that well either). Wednesday my WONDERFUL visiting teachers took care of my kids. They had it all arranged. Kylie went to a friends house after preschool and stayed there till 4:30, Kaden and Johnny went to another friends house. and Eli and Eddie went some where else. So I spent the day sleeping and feeling sorry for myself.

It is mostly guilt that I am feeling though. I feel like a pretty crappy mom when I can't take care of my kids b/c of some dumb surgery. Or I can't carry a basket of laundry upstairs to put it away with out feeling exhausted. I just want to scream sometimes b/c of the lack of energy I have.

I will stop complaining though. (For now). I am very lucky that it wasn't something worse. And that it was only a partial hysterectomy. So if David and I choose, we could still try for another kid. I have 5 beautiful children who love me and worry about me, and that is why they are having such a difficult time through all of this. I have a husband who slept on a stupid roll away bed at the hospital b/c he was worried and wanted to make sure that I was okay, even though I told him to go home and get a good nights sleep in his own bed. There was no point in him staying at the hospital. I have such loving friends and family who have shown so much support through this with phone calls and meals and babysitting. (My dad slept on my couch at my house while David slept in his roll away at the hospital). I love and appreciate all of you who have been there for me. And I am sorry that I am so grumpy about all of this. I will get over my self pity. I just need a few more days....

Until then, enjoy some gross pictures of my insides! (I wasn't going to post these, but David said I should-sorry!) David will have to explain what they are...

This is Linda's left Ovary, all bloated with blood. You can see the twist in the top picture and the line between the healthy tissue and dying tissue. Evidently the arteries have enough pressure to push blood past the twist, but the veins don't, so the blood built up. When they untwisted it, it started puting out clots like nobody's business, so they had to remove it.